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Drive The Other Way

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The debut album of One Direction, a British band and third place finisher on the UK’s version of the X Factor, feels like they released two albums. One album, the first seven songs is terribly nauseating, while the second, the final six songs, are passable at best.

It becomes clear quickly that the harmonies of this group are very boring and monotone. While listening to “What Makes You Beautiful,” you wish they showed off a little more vocal range instead of sounding like robots on autotune. Then when you hear “Gotta Be You,” you retract that last statement and wish you could erase that horrifying falsetto from your memory. Every theme in these songs are exactly what a bad bubble gum pop song contains, teenage love and sappy lyrics that nobody ever believes for a second because it’s usually not real. While listening to “One Thing,” I was confused and angered. It talks about this girl having one thing different than all others and that’s why the protagonist loves her, but it never explains what it is. When young people who hope to fall in love listen to this song, it will give girls a false sense of pride if they think they have the “one thing” or frustrate girls who don’t think they have it and convince them they will never fall in love. Then it will make boys set incredibly high standards, that probably will never be met, about the woman of their dreams. One Direction crushing the dreams of teenagers all over the world ladies and gentlemen. Disclaimer: I am not against love by any means, in fact just the opposite. I just think if love songs are to be sung properly, they should be sung with at least an ounce of feeling. Note to music producers: Autotune does not create feeling, it hinders it.

For a song like “More Than This” I just have one thing to say. Please see “All I Have To Give” by The Backstreet Boys. Same goes for “I Wish” and N’ Sync’s “Girlfriend“. They are the same damn songs except the songs not by One Direction are significantly better! Before explaining how much I hate “Tell Me A Lie,” I must reference my earlier critique of being realistic. Even if a relationship is ending, DO NOT TELL LISTENERS TO LIE ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS! This song is everything not to do in a relationship, even a terminated one, if you want it to end even remotely on a good note. And finally, “Up All Night”. I saved this one for the last of my evicerations because this song is where good music comes to die. The worst lyric involves Katy Perry and something about the DJ shaking the walls. And this was the supposed hook of the song because it felt like it repeated a thousand times. I can’t ever get that three minutes and twelve seconds of my life back. I almost punched my computer screen to make it stop, but then realized I had to write this blog.

I know I’m just a measly college student blogger, but can I beg a record producer to make a very talented singer-songwriter, one with actual feelings, re-record “Taken”? It is the best song on the album in my opinion, and would be served so much better by a great singer. Hell I’d take BBMak, a better Brit band than One Direction, on this song, because they’d at least do an ounce of justice to it. Even though the songs are better as the disc goes on, they falter to one fatal flaw, repetition. Apparently these songwriters had absolutely no creativity because they use recycled themes and the same words over and over. I guess they didn’t take their own advice after writing “Same Mistakes,” because they made them. The “club beats” on some of these later songs are relatively listenable, but that means nobody pays attention to the lyrics. Why couldn’t they have saved us the trouble and put those on the first half of the songs too?! I’d take moderately dancing over almost puking any day of the week.

After losing X Factor, and in my opinion third place was way too high, they made their version of a British Invasion in the United States. Aren’t invasions supposed to be a bad thing? It certainly was in this case. We already have Justin Beiber and The Jonas Brothers to torture us, they can go back to the UK and make them cringe in pain over there.


Written by smschira

March 19, 2012 at 7:22 am

Posted in Uncategorized

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